Gloomy Thursday

Assalamualaikum!

Yesterday, (13022014), my one and only grandmother that is left, passed away at 4.12 a.m. I got the news when my father called me at 6 a.m. He tried to hold back his sobs when he heard me crying. I just thought at that time, I have to go back and see her for the last time. Regardless of the classes and test that I have yesterday. Reached kampung at nearly 1 p.m, when nenek's body has been shrouded, and I didn't get the chance to kiss her. What saddened me more is that I was only a few seconds late. I was crying so badly that almost everyone came to hug and console me. At masjid, I watched them performed Zohor prayer and funeral prayer. After that, we headed straight to the cemetery and my father called me "Adik! cepat tgk nenek" I went to the grave quickly and when they untied the cloth, I saw nenek's white face in front of me. I saw her calm face. I saw her smiling face. At that instant, my tears had flown down like a river on my face. I just couldn't stand the tears. I shed my tears away and kissed her on the cheeks and forehead, and in seconds after that, she is already lying 7 feet underground. I just couldn't believe it. "Ya Allah, ni nenek aku ke?" When I reached kampung at first, I was like "is this really a death event?" There were so many people inside and outside of the house. Just like a wedding ceremony, a reunion. At the grave, during the talqin, I can't stop crying when the Imam mentioned nenek's name as "si mati". I can't accept that she's gone now. Forever. Never going to come back. I'll miss her smile. I'll miss her laugh. I'll miss her smell. I'll miss everything about her. To me, she is a great woman. Mak Wan said to me, "Mak Wan tak penah jumpa orang mcm dia. Mak mertua paling baik." Nenek, may you rest in peace. I pray that angels will always accompany you in your grave so that you'll never be alone. Al-fatihah.