Sunday, 26 October 2014

Going back to the place I dislike

Assalamualaikum & good evening everyone!

I'm at home now, but Imma go back to shah alam in a bit. Hm :( I hate the fact that weekend seems very very short these days. Just where did the time go???!!! And to make it worse, I might not come home for another three weeks, bcs next week I have a program called Kemahiran Insaniah on Saturday, so it's just a waste of time and money to come home anyway. Next two weeks, my mum is going to Janda Baik, Pahang for her company's team building. So two weekends in shah alam it is. Honestly, since degree started, I've never spent a weekend there. I will come home every Friday hahaha. Clingy & overly-attached daughter? Yes I am.

I am thinking of staying home starting next semester, bcs 1. I don't wanna stay there (obviously) and 2. the journey between home and shah alam only takes 30-40 mins which is not that far, no? There's this friend of mine who wants to drive back and forth everyday, so I'm thinking of car pooling. It's just a plan, and it's not confirmed yet. I have to really pujuk my mum so she'll let me travel back and forth with a car. Amiiiin. Hehe

I'm gonna go get ready and pack my things now. Till then, xx

Saturday, 25 October 2014

After so long

Assalamualaikum & salam maal hijrah, everyone!

I haven't been updating anything for so long, nearly a month if I'm not mistaken. I miss blogging more than I thought I would though, huhu..

Anyways, I'm at home for the second time this week. I was home for deepavali break on Tuesday & went back to shah alam on Thursday bcs I had a test that evening. And yesterday, I took the train home and here I am, lying on my bed as I'm typing this entry. It always feels good to be home, no? You can do whatever you want, sleep as long as you can & eat good food heheh.

I have been a bit busy lately, with clasess and stuffs. I had a test for law 435 (law of torts) on Thursday, which was 2 days back. It was ok, only one subtopic was asked luckily �� and next two weeks, I have another test for Malaysian legal system & a presentation for my Islamic class. Another week of business I suppose, but what to do? This is what I chose in the first place.

The reason why I don't blog much since degree started is bcs I can't get ahold of the WiFi. Wallahi I can't even connect the WiFi in my room. The coverage is so slow & sometimes it can't be found at all. My laptop has to use the hotspot from my phone to get access to the internet. Sad amy is sad... �� so I can't really socialize on my laptop anymore. Only doing it when I'm at home hehe.. God bless WiFi rumah ����

I guess this is all for my quick update, I just wanted to write this entry after so long of not being here. In sha Allah, if there's time, I'll blog more in the future.

Till then, good night! ��

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Thursday post

Assalamualaikum & good morning everyone!

I'm in my room right now, bcs I don't have any classes today. I'm bored and I don't know what to do, I'm just done with my scholarship application just now. If Allah wills, I'll be accepted to get the scholarship. Anyways, I am looking forward to go home tomorrow right after my classes end at 12.30 p.m. 

Yesterday, mama asked me if I wanted to go home after class since I had only one class at 10.30 a.m. I took the longest time to think and to make the decision whether or not to go home. But after much consideration, I decided to stay bcs 1) I wanted to go to the book bazaar at law faculty yesterday, 2) I had a co-curricular activity this evening and 3) I have a program organised by the college tonight at 08.00 p.m. So there you go, the reasons why I chose to stay at the college. Oh one more reason is bcs my friend asked me to stay so we can hang out and eat together lol. 

I reaaaaally wanna go home tomorrow, regardless of anything that's going to happen. Haha rebellious betul ni. But I need someone to take me out right now bcs I'm bored being alone in my room. H e l p  :(

Of my unstable emotions

Assalamualaikum everyone!

I'm in my room, sitting on my bed as I'm typing this. I had only one class at 1030 a.m this morning bcs the other two are tutorial classes & they won't be held until next month if I'm not mistaken. So here I am in my room, all alone. Two of my roommates are having classes, and the other one is washing her laundry in the bathroom.

Lately I've been feeling so low and sad, and I don't even have the answer to why this is happening to me. I guess it's bcs of the changes that I am having here. Everything is so.. DIFFERENT. I know & I admit, changes are good. Sometimes being different is better. But for me, I hate changes. Especially when I have to be independent and being apart from my friends. I feel sad. I cannot handle this.

Ever since I got here, I can count on one hand the nights that I spend in my room. Most of the nights, I'll be in Kajang & be with my family. Being the manja & clingy me, I would cry if I feel alone and if I miss my family. In my head, there's my lecturer's words when we were in kuantan, "kt shah alam nnti lg tough. Kalau you rase kuantan ni susah, kt sana lg susah. You kena rebut naik bas, penat jalan. Kena jd kuat baru boleh survive kt sana."

Now I know what she meant. She was here for 4 years, doing her degree and master both in Uitm shah alam. She said she was struggling her study years to survive here. Now, I somehow feel what she felt. Although it has just been 2 weeks since I got here. Kalau nk survive, kena jadi kuat. You have to be very very strong in order to compete and be among people. Otherwise, you'll be left out. You'll be left alone. I personally think that I'm not strong. Not strong enough to face this. Idk when I can start to accept and embrace everything, but I know that the "when" is not now.

Till then, pray for me xx

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Occupied

Assalamualaikum again!

As I'm already in Uni again now, I am somehow occupied to do things such as socializing on the net and going out. For example, if I have classes at the faculty, I would have to leave my room at least half an hour before to wait for the bus or to walk. But most of the time this week, I walked to class. Simply bcs waiting for the bus to arrive in front of our college is already tiring and a waste of time. So walking it is.

In Kuantan, if there's a gap of half an hour, it's enough to allow me to go back to my room to rest or to change or to eat something light. But now in Shah Alam, even a two hours gap won't work bcs my room is so far away it's approximately 1km from the faculty. Just imagine. That's one of the things that makes me miss Kuantan so badly. Please ya Allah, just let me go back there and enjoy my time being in that place. 

So sad I just wanna bury myself alive. 

Anyways, I wanted to do a book review of If I Stay since last week, but never had the time to do so. So in sha Allah, if I ever have the time to do it next week, I will. I'm starting to lose the memory of what the book is all about hehe. But don't worry, If I have the time, I'll do it. If Allah wills.

I've started my class since Wednesday, which was Law 435 (Law of Torts) at 10.30 a.m. It was fine, just an introduction though. The lecturer for that subject is so funny and cute. But I'm somehow scared and nervous to start studying again. All is well, I hope. On Friday, I had two classes. Ctu 551 (Islamic Studies) at 08.30 a.m, and Law 437 (Malaysian Legal System) at 10.30 a.m. Both were fine, and both subjects are taught by guy lecturers. The real process of teaching and learning will start on the second week, which is next week. Pray for me, ok?

Till then, xx

Home for the third time

Assalamualaikum!

Hello everyone! I know it's been ages since I last updated anything here. I was way too busy to socialize ewah ewah hehe. Actually I'm constantly on twitter and Instagram but it takes a lot of effort and time to write an entry on blogger. So that explains why this blog has been lacking of any updates recently. 

Anyways, I've registered myself into my bachelor program last Sunday in Uitm Shah Alam. Alhamdulillah, I am now a bachelor student in law school for four years from now. Sounds scary, no? Truth be told, I am way too scared to even think of the upcoming challenges that I have to face later on. I know in 4 years time, a heck lot of things can happen. I might end up changing my bachelor course if I'm not strong enough to face them. Na'uzubillahi waminzalik. 

Unfortunately, things in Shah Alam are a lot different from Kuantan. I know, each place that we go to, we'll have different memories and meet different people. But somehow I feel so sad that I don't have my friends that I used to back in Kuantan. Even sadder, I don't have anyone that I can really get along with. I do have friends from Kuantan in Shah Alam. A lot of them actually. But to really click with them, it takes time. My room consists of 4 persons, one of them is my acquaintance in Kuantan. The other 2 are complete strangers, and they are from lepasan diploma. And they are also 2 years older than we are. So it's somehow awkward to talk to them, like they are always busy with things. So I'm left with nothing to do but crying cause I'm lonely and I miss my family. 

And honest to God, on Tuesday, after we were done with the orientation and the introductory program, I was crying like a baby bcs I wanted to go home so badly. I texted my mum saying that I don't like being in Shah Alam. It was only a couple days since I got there. Bayangkanlah. And that evening, after I took my shower at 7, I left Uitm to go home. I had one class on Wednesday at 10.30 a.m, but I insisted on going home. That's how persistent I am, everyone. Mum knows me very well, so she asked me to come home. On Wednesday, after I finished my class at 12, I went back home by train. On Thursday morning, I had a session with the academic panel of law faculty at 11 a.m, so I left home with mum at 7 a.m. That's how crazy my life worked this whole week. I spent my Thursday night at my room in Shah Alam bcs I had morning class as early as 08.30 a.m yesterday. After I finished both classes at 11.15 a.m, I packed my things and went home.

I hope things will get better soon. Once I'm occupied with classes, I wouldn't be that homesick or whatever they call it lah. I HOPE ok. It's just sad that I am too weak to handle and adapt to changes and I don't even know why. I used to be so strong though. I've been having this fear of changes ever since primary school, when me and my family moved to Kajang and I had to be in a new school with boys. And I cried the whole week in class. Haiyerrr. Fragile amy is soooo fragile. When I first got into University, in Jengka, there's an orientation or they call it MDS (Minggu Destini Siswa) for a week, I forbade my mum to call me bcs whenever I heard her voice, I started to cry. It's like a poison to hear her voice. Even texting her was enough to put me into tears though, let alone talking to her on the phone. It was the hardest one week of my life, I'm not even kidding. 

I have no idea what to do to work my homesickness, or the precise word manja-ness. Hahaha. May Allah ease everything for me, and I hope that I'll be strong to face everything that's coming ahead of me. In sha Allah..

Till then, xx

Friday, 29 August 2014

Typical Friday


  1. Assalamualaikum everyone!
  2. I'm sorry cs I don't feel like writing a long entry with few passages, so this way it is!
  3. This weekend is gonna be my last weekend at home before degree tsk :(
  4. I have not prepared anything for degree. I repeat, any freaking thing.
  5. I know that I'll be running a lot of errands for degree next week. I'm doomed!
  6. I have not even registered for my degree program which the dateline is until 7th September. A week to go.
  7. I'm quite excited for this new experience, yet I'm scared cs I don't have my friends with me & I'm gonna have to make new friends on my own. H e l p
  8. I just hope all is well & I pray so that Allah will help me.
  9. Oh yes, I got the very last dose of HPV vaccination yesterday & guess what? my left arm, is killing me right now.
  10. I couldn't lift anything or even straighten my hand. Thank God that I managed to drive home from the clinic yesterday.
  11. Lastly, I've watched TFIOS online last night & like others, I cried. A good movie, I can say.

Till then, have a beautiful Friday!

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Message in A Bottle by Nicholas Sparks (Review)

Title: Message in A Bottle
Author: Nicholas Sparks
Num of pages: 347
Publisher : Sphere


In a moment of desolation on a windswept beach, Garrett bottles his words of undying love for a woman, and throws them to the sea.

"My dearest Catherine, I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is particularly hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together..."

But the bottle is picked up by Theresa, a mother with a shattered past, who feels unaccountably drawn to this lonely man. Who are this couple? What is their story? Beginning a search that will take her to a sunlit coastal town and an unexpected confrontation, it is a tale that resonates with everlasting love and enduring promise of redemption.

My thoughts & opinion:

Garrett is a lonely whom have lost a wife three years ago but can't seem to get over his true love. He bottled up his feelings & thoughts abt her and threw them away into the ocean. He constantly dreamed abt his late wife which made it even harder for him to forget her. He is a hopeless romantic husband and lover, hence his beautiful words and letters to his late wife. His dad, Jeb Blake has often reminded him that it's ok to move on. It's ok to find someone else. But Garrett can't seem to shake the memories of his late wife off from his mind. Even after he knew Theresa, Catherine will always be at the back of his lonely mind. He had pictures of Catherine hanging on the walls of his house, especially in his bedroom.

Meanwhile Theresa, a single mother who has been a divorcee for almost 4 years has had a tragic past & couldn't get over her dark experience. Her son, Kevin, 12, is growing up spending his life living at his mom's & dad's place alternately. That summer, Theresa had his son staying at her ex-husband's place & went for a vacation in Cape Cod with her best friend Deanna. There, she found Garrett's letter to Catherine washed up by the ocean and found her crying reading the letter. Those beautiful words has hit her right to the heart. She then followed Deanna's advice to publish it on the newspaper as she worked as a columnist for Boston Times. From there, she discovered the second & third letter from people who called her asking abt that letter. After she discovered three of Garrett's letter, she decided to find Garrett with the advice of Deanna. She wanted to know what kind of person Garrett was.

Theresa's search for Garrett at Wilmington has led to so many unexpected things that she couldn't have imagined. Those things took her back to the memories of her & her ex-husband. While for Garrett, the unexpected visit from Theresa led him to the memories of him & Catherine. Who would've thought that their first hello could change their lives forever.

I give it a 4 star. This novel is really really good. I would suggest it to anyone who hasn't read the novel.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Allah is the best Planner

Assalamualaikum!

How's everyone doing? I hope you guys are in the pink, and also under Allah's blessings forever and always. 

Anyways, as I had mentioned in the earlier post that I've been waiting for my degree result to be announced somewhere in early August. And yada yada, it has been announced yesterday at 5p.m. Everyone was freaking out and scared to know the result. Everyone including me. I didn't know that the result was to be announced yesterday, I thought it'll be announced today (13/8). So I was really shocked when one of my friends said "petang ni lah. Not esok."

After I performed Asar prayer, I got a message from a friend who asked me to check the result. She told me that she got accepted into law school and I was like screaming and yelling and at the same time trying to get through the website. And Alhamdulillah, by Allah's will, I got accepted into law school. This is something that I wanted more than anything. Now I am a step closer into becoming someone I've really wanted to be. Ni semua kerje Tuhan. Kita tak boleh kata "tidak". If Allah has written something for you, who are you to deny it? Who are you to go against Him? He is the ultimate power. He is the Greatest.

I prayed night and day, all day everyday so that He answers my prayers. So that He grants me the things that I want. Faith is everything you need. Have faith in Him. Put your maximum level of confidence in Him. In sha Allah, He will give you what you want. I can never be thankful enough for everything that He has bestowed upon me. I am so grateful. I cried so bad when I read the words on the screen. I can hardly believe what I saw. One of the reasons why I was so scared is because I didn't do well during the interview. I feel like the other two candidates were far better. But Allah knows best. I am so happy. Alhamdulillah.

But, there's one thing that makes me so upset. You know, being in the situation when you're like so happy, but then some of your friends are sad because they didn't get accepted into any Universities. It really breaks my heart to see them being so down and low. Idk, I really wish I could help though. But what am I supposed to do? I've told them to just keep calm and stay positive as everything happens for a reason. But I know it's easier said than done. I know that when it happens to me, I can't actually stay calm & accept it as it is. It's hard when you're so excited for yourself, but you also need to grief for them. It kills you inside. You're like torn in between.

Whatever happens, I do wish & I really wish that they will have the opportunity to further their studies anytime soon. The next intake is in March, so I hope that they'll get accepted into any Universities. I'll always pray for my friends, because I can't stand them being unhappy. Ya Allah I feel so blessed right now, it's just crazy.

Thank you for everything Ya Allah. Surely, with every hardship you've gone through, there is ease. Believe in Him.

Till then, goodnight! xx

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Giving up is not an option

Assalamualaikum!

Have you ever felt so tired when you've done all that you can but things still don't work out the way you want them to? 

Have you ever felt so sad because you feel that you haven't done enough for something you really want?

I always come across to inspirational quotes like 

"Don't give up on something or someone that you couldn't go a full day without thinking about."
"When you love something, you mustn't let it go."

BUT, there's nothing in this world that happens without His will. Without Allah Azza Wajalla's permission. Everything that exists in this world is because of His grace and command. When you want something, pray to Him. Ask Him to give it to you by a good manner. For a good will. As long as you ask something good from Him, the angels will listen to your invocations and send them to Him. 

When you've tried your best and do everything that you can, but you still don't get the things that you want, fret not. Just remember that Allah answers your prayers by 3 ways; 1. A definite yes 2. Yes, but not now. and 3. I have better plans for you. So if Allah doesn't answer your prayers the way you want Him to, it's because He's preparing you for the better. La tahzan, inallaha ma'ana. 

When you feel like giving up on life, on Him, stop for a while and think who help you to get back up when you were down? Who help you to cheer up when you were sad? and who give you everything when you had nothing? --- it's Allah. So it's not fair for you to give up on Him just because you don't get what you want now. Be patient, because Allah is surely with the patient ones. It has been stated in the Holy Quran that you can ask anything from Him. Anything at all. Because Allah's help is near. We just don't get to see it. 

Redha is when you surrender yourself and all your life to Allah. You know that only Allah can help, can protect and can heal you. So lean on Him. Be dependent on Him. Allah loves those who turn to Him and beg to Him. Leave all your worries and sorrows behind, because you will never be in despair when you're with Him. He will always give you the peace and calmness that your souls need.

Again, when you feel like giving up, think again. Stop trying so hard that you feel like dying and you feel like there's nothing left in you. Turn to Him, He will heal you. He will fill you with love and blessings that you yearn all these times. You hearts need their owner. And He is, the owner of every beating heart. 

Walahu'alam..

Sunday, 3 August 2014

A month left til the journey begins

Assalamualaikum!

It's already the third day in August today, and I have only a month left to have fun and enjoy my time until the new journey begins. I will pursue my degree (In sha Allah) in early September and experience the real challenge in my studies. I hope everything goes well for me. The result for my interview will be out another two weeks and I'm super scared. Idk what to feel IF I don't get to continue my studies in law school. That would be VERY disappointing for sure. 

As for now, I still have time a lil bit of time to enjoy myself being at home and watching tv shows and eat til my heart's content. Once I get into the Uni again, I wouldn't have that much time to hang out or be on my social media anymore. That's sad.. Most of my time now are occupied with scrolling my twitter timeline and tumblr dashboard bcs YOLO lol. Utilize the time that you have while you still have it.

It's really crazy how life works, no? One day you're here, and the next day you're there. It's like today is June, and the next thing you know, it's already August. Allah is surely the Greatest. Time is really leaving us behind. That's what people always say, "life doesn't wait for anybody". And so does time. It continues to pass without waiting for anyone. We can never keep up with time as it goes faster and faster each day. Masha Allah. 

"Verily, man is in lost"




Things Are Getting Out of Hands

Assalamualaikum!

How's everyone doing? I hope everyone is still enjoying raya with the family. However, while we are having fun with the fambam and having nice clothes to wear and getting loads of duit raya, please please please do not forget our brothers and sisters in Palestine. They are still being attacked and oppressed on their own land. The least that we can do is to send them our prayers every single time we think of them. If possible. I get so emotional whenever I read the tweets or look at those photos of the bombing in Gaza. Allahu. Eid has no meaning to them. All they could think of is how to survive the next day with their family. 

Being their Muslim relatives, let us all lend a helping hand to ease their burden and suffering by our non-stop du'as. In sha Allah, Allah will show them the light out of this darkness. This genocide has been going on for more than a month with thousands of lives being taken away. It is one of our responsibilities as a Muslim to pray for our relatives, no? Even though we don't know them personally, but deep down we can surely understand how it feels like losing our family members by a cruel manner. So please, don't stop praying for them.

Another way to help, by taking it to the next level is to boycott ALL Israel made products. We know that the Israelis got the fund to buy all those bullets and missiles is by their economy. Most of the things that we use at home, are produced by Israel. But the major things/products that have the big impact from the boycott are McDonald's and Starbucks. If we keep on boycotting these major products, sooner or later, they will lost all the funds for the weapons. And we hope by that, they will surrender from Palestine. Other products that we should boycott include Kit Kat, Nestle, Marks & Spencer,  Coca Cola and others. You can find the list on google if you wanna know more. Oh yes, I heard that they have changed the bar code number on the products that they produce from 729 to 871. So be aware when you buy things from the stores. 

In sha Allah, people may see our actions, but the most important thing is Allah knows our real intentions. Every little thing counts. Wallahu'alam.





Till then, xx

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Of feeling so fatigue & a book review

Assalamualaikum!

I just wondered why is it in these last 10 days of Ramadan I feel so restless & tired all the time.. Lagi dekat nak raya, lagi banyak dugaan. I just feel so exhausted during the day even without doing anything. I feel fatigue all the time, and I sleep almost throughout the day. You know, that feeling when you'd rather lay in bed all day than doing any chores. Yep. I feel that in these last 10 days. I just don't know why. I had a mild fever three days ago, that I could't get out of bed until almost 3 p.m. Realising that I haven't prayed, I gathered my strength to get up. My head was pounding so badly, and my throat was burning. I guess this is the toughest test I've had during the last 10 days of Ramadan. That condition went on for 2 and a half days. My fever went on and off, I had flu and sore throat. But I took my medicine more than the prescribed amount, and I woke feeling a lot better. Alhamdulillah. A little bit of overdose won't hurt anyone, no? Hm

Anyways, it's been a while since I made a book review for the books that I've read. That means I haven't read for so long already hahaha. Hajat untuk habiskan stock buku lama sebelum masuk degree mungkin tak kesampaian :/ I am currently reading a book wrote by Nicholas Sparks & I am trying to finish it ASAP. As soon as I am done with it, I'll do a review about it ok? ok. In sha Allah I will make it in time. Hope that I get to finish all the unread books before September. That's ok, Allah is the owner of time. 

Oh yes, in case I don't get the time to blog during Eid, I am taking this opportunity to wish my dear readers,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

I'm truly sorry if any of my entries have hurt any of you. I just want you guys to know that I never intended to do that. May you have a great holidays with your families. 

Till then, be safe & enjoy your raya! xx

Throwback

Assalamualaikum!

I've been abandoning my blog for a while because lately I've been a bit busy with LIFE. Hahaha. Actually I've been busy preparing for Eid. Can you believe it Eid is tomorrow (Monday)???? NO. I bet nobody can. Indeed, Allah has made the time appears shorter and shorter each day. MashaAllah.

Anyways, I didn't get the time to update the things I did last week, yet. So I'm taking this time and opportunity to make a little update about last week, hence the title of this entry. Heheh. 

Last Monday, was probably one of the happiest days in my 19 years of living. I spent half of the day seeing my girlfriends and had iftar with them. Went to Anis's place that evening, then went to bazaar ramadan with her and Erin to buy something light for iftar. After we are done with iftar, we performed our prayers & got ready to go for dinner. Waited for Shera to come since she broke her fast at home first, then off to Austin Steak House. Anis suggested this place as the food price is cheap. I ordered Grill Fish & mango juice for myself, Erin ordered Rib Steak & watermelon juice, Shera had Spaghetti Bolognaise and Anis had Lamb Chop & mango juice as well. The food was good tbh, and the price was really reasonable. Jadi silalah ke sana ye. Haha. After that, we went to Tutti Frutti because Erin was craving for it. We kind of lepak there for half an hour taking selfies of ourselves. Things can't get any better than that. We went home at about 11.20 after sending Anis home. We spent the whole time talking and laughing like nobody's business. 

On Wednesday, me and my sisters went to Mid to get some stuffs for raya. Arrived there by train at about 5 p.m, and performed our prayers. Waited for mama to come from her office, and we looked for things to buy. I swear it was very tiring, having to board the train was already tiring enough, walking around the mall looking for clothes and stuffs was even more tiring. I didn't buy anything until after iftar. That day, I bought 2 cardigans and a top. The first cardigan I bought was at Bangi, there's a vendor shop called The Supernini. They have nice clothes there, and I was attracted to this one satin/chiffon cardigan. And it is in beige colour. The second one is long cardigan, it is in grey colour. Sadly, I can't find any shoes that I like. It's frustrating when you've gotten into so many stores but none caught your attention. That's what happened to me. 

The rest of the week were spent with finding my mum's and my sisters' baju kurung. We went to look for their baju kurung and also Tya's clothes. All in all, I'm pretty satisfied with everything (except for the shoes).

PS : Hindustan songs on repeat. No I'm not in the mood to listen to raya songs.

Monday, 21 July 2014

Lullaby



Jangan kau menilai dari rupa
Kerna semuanya milik Dia
Hati ini akan ku jaga
Kerna ku hanya manusia biasa

Hati ini akan ku jaga
Kerna ku hanya manusia biasa
Jangan kau menilai dari rupa
Kerna semuanya milik Dia

Tbh I don't know why am I in a weird mood all of a sudden. Just feel like posting this song up. Good night lovelies!

PS : I had a really good day today. I love love my girl friends so much I can't even 



Saturday, 19 July 2014

Life Updates

Assalamualaikum!

It's 22nd Ramadan tonight, and we are left with 7 more days until Eid. What can I say? Time flies so very fast that we don't really feel we are in Ramadan. Anyways, Eid Mubarak is just a week away? How's your preparation so far? Mine has been... so slow. Hahaha. Last two weeks, me and my family went to look for baju kurung for our first day of Eid. We went to Bangi Getaway, they have loads and loads of choices there. It was my first time being there and we didn't thoroughly wander around. I bought one kurung for myself, and it is in pink/maroon in colour. I can't really describe the colour but it's in between those two. But more to pink I guess. Nyehehe. Alhamdulillah I am satisfied with it, because I fell in love with that kurung the second I laid eyes on it. Ewah. And the price is also affordable for baju kurung.

Last Sunday, my family went to Alamanda, Putrajaya after sending my dad off to work. We didn't shop though, just did some window-shopping. Minggu lepas kan tengah bulan hehehe. Mum asked us to look for anything that we want to buy so that we can come again later, maybe this Monday. So we went into Nichii, Nose, Esprit, Converse and some others. I do have some things that I think nice and would love to buy, but it all depends on my mum whether or not she approves it. However, I'm in a desperate need of new shoes because the ones that I brought to Kuantan are all ripped and torn already. *brb crying* Soooo, I only have ONE pair of sandal that I wear almost everyday. Please pray for me so that I'll get new ones ok? Ok. 

After that, we broke our fast at Subway Alamanda because all of the other food outlets are full of people. Firstly, we wanted to go to KFC since Dyna wanted it so bad, but KFC is no longer there. Then, we decided to find something light to eat at the food court. Pun takde seat juga! Can you imagine that big of a food court doesn't even have a single empty seat?? So the last choice was Subway. I was the one who wanted Subway so I thought I could just buy it and bring it to KFC or whatever. Last last semua makan kt situ heheh. It was Dyna's 16th birthday, so she got all her requests. Bought a fruit juice from Boost for her, and headed to papa's place to have a proper dinner. I had rice with spicy fish. I don't know what is exactly the menu but the fish is cooked somewhat like curry, but less-watery style. Hahah I'm sorry I'm really bad at describing, no? 

Oh yes, I had my driving test last Friday and Alhamdulillah, after third attempt, I passed the test. I swear it was the most nerve-wrecking moment ever. I was nervous the whole week before the test. Can you imagine? Jumaat tu nak test, jumaat minggu lepas dah start nervous. Crazyyyyy. But Alhamdulillah, after a year of postponing, and my non-stop du'as, it really worth the wait. Thank God mama has trusted me to drive. Hahaha.

Till then, good night! xx

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Breaking news - Tragic Loss

Assalamualaikum!

At about 12 a.m (18th July 2014), Malaysians were shocked by another airplane catastrophe, which is MAS flight MH17. The flight has reportedly crashed from the shot by the Ukrainian. Allahu.... Another tragic loss to those families of the victims. To hear it is enough to break our hearts, I can't even imagine being in that situation. You know, just listening to those news and watch the updates are already hard enough for us, let alone to experience such things. May Allah grant them the strength to face this huge test. We're still in the month of Ramadan, and still sad about the situation in Palestine, yet another shocking tragedy has occurred. 

As I said in the previous post, that everything Allah has bestowed upon us is good. It's just us being blinded and deafened to notice it. I know we are still in the mourning period from the tragedy of MH370, but this time around the pain is greater I guess. Seeing the body of the plane live, and we know that there are no survivors from the crash. At least we can still put our hopes up for MH370 as it is still hasn't been discovered. Ya Allah, indeed You are the All-Knowing. 

If it's true that this is because of the fight between Ukraine and Russia, why must our flight become the victim? We've seen so many cases in which the innocent ones always become the victims. Allah is ever All-Knowing. Keep on praying that our people will ensure to uphold the justice for our flight. And not to forget, pray so that this situation won't have to happen to any other flights, be it Malaysian flights or other countries'. The hatred between two countries shouldn't be let out to other countries and we shouldn't be the ones suffering the loss. Let us all pray and hope that hate is something we & the next generation never have to see. Ever.

I guess this is our turning point where we should really reflect ourselves. It's time for us to sit back and think what is our mistakes and shortcomings that Allah has given us this big of a test. There must be something hidden behind all these tests. Allah won't give something without a reason, no? Clearly He is closing one door to open up a lot of others. I believe there are better things coming in our ways if we could go back to fitrah. Ask Him for forgiveness, and pray so that He protects us all. It's Jummat, in the last 10 days of Ramadan. May Allah listen to our invocations and fulfill them. In sha Allah








A Piece of Thought


Assalamualaikum!

What do we usually do when we don't get the things that we want in life? How do we react towards those kind of situation? Do we snap? Do we get angry? Or do we be patient? In most cases and circumstances, we would have the first and second answer. When things don't seem to work out the way we want them to, we'll get angry. We would be mad and ask "why???? why can't I get the things that I want?" So the things that I wish to share here, today is---

Redha

All Muslims know this word. But only a few apply this word into their lives. Everyone knows what is patience, but not everyone has that patience. Anyways, the questions is-- how do we have patience? Mcm mana nak redha dlm hidup? That's the main question we need to ask. Redha means to accept every single thing that happens in our lives with an open heart. That means we need to accept everything sincerely. We have to believe that everything happens for a reason. And Allah knows what the reason is. Maybe we feel injustice to just accept everything blindly, but someday we will understand why Allah would give us such things. 

Every single things that happens in our lives, is positive. No matter what is going on, it is for the best. It's meant to be for us. Allah knows we can handle those things, so He gave it to us. No matter how big your suffering might be, be it lost, pain, frustration, sadness, anger, depression, or whatever, it is still good for us. 

BUT

The way we look at it can sometimes become negative and bad. How do we know whether it's a blessing or a curse for us? It depends on the nature of our response. It doesn't depend on the nature of that thing, but it depends on the nature of our response. If we response towards it positively, definitely we will see it as a blessing. But if we response towards it the other way around, we will regard it as a curse. We would think that Allah wants to punish us. Now how do we know if it is a punishment from Him though? We would never know, because everything that He gives is good. 

From Ustadha Yasmin Mogahed, "anything that brings me closer to that worship of Allah is success, and anything that takes me away from it is failure." 

Anything that reminds me of Allah is good, and anything that brings me further from Him is bad. Because once we are attached to this Dunya, we become dependent of it. And that dependency is weak. But if we put our dependency towards Allah, that dependency is healthy and strong. Allah alone is sufficient for us. We don't need anything else. We don't need material things, we don't need people. Because they are fickle. They can't stay forever. Material things won't last as we can easily get bored of them. People won't be there for us forever because every soul will die. Once those things and people are gone, what else is left? We become lost, sad and depressed. That's why we have to put our trust and dependency towards Allah. He will never be gone. He's gonna be there for us every moment of our lives. 

One of the reasons why it's so dangerous to put our dependency towards things and people is that, they are all His. The things that we have, our hearts, minds, bodies, the people that we love, are all Allah's. Everything can be taken away from us in a blink. Without us noticing it, they are already gone. Allah boleh beri sesuatu, dan tarik sesuatu pada bila bila masa. Kita kena sentiasa bersyukur with the things that we are blessed with. Just look at the less fortunate people, they don't have the lives that we all have. Dapat sesuap nasi dan secebus kasih sayang pun, they are grateful enough. In fact, more grateful than us who have everything that we ask for. Now tell me who are the winners and who are the losers?

Kita hidup, sementara. Walaupun ada yang hidup sampai 100 tahun, it is still temporary. It is just the time frame that's long, not the life. Everything in this Dunya is temporary, because the everlasting life will be in the Hereafter. We would think that having nice clothes, a big house, and an expensive car are everything for us. But little do we know that we can have more of those things in Heaven. Benda yang tak tercapai dek akal, benda yang kita manusia tak boleh bayangkan. Tapi kita sombong, because we don't know what Heaven is like, we can't picture it. Sebab kita tahu hidup di dunya mcm mana, so kita tamak, kalau boleh kita nak rasa semua benda selagi kita hidup. And again, it is a false and weak dependency. 

Dunya is where we live as travellers. Tempat kita mencari bekalan semata mata. Bukan untuk bersenang lenang, tapi untuk bersusah payah. Bukan untuk dijadikan hamba, tapi untuk dijadikan simpanan. Untuk dijadikan saham ke akhirat. We live in this world to build our bridge to Jannah. Rasulullah SAW yang telah dijanjikan syurga pun masih menyembah Allah siang & malam, apa lg kita yang belum tentu dapat mencium bau syurga ni? Bila ditanya, baginda menjawab "ianya sebagai tanda aku bersyukur kpd Allah" Allahu... terus tnya pada diri kita, di mana letaknya rasa syukur kita pada Allah? Are we grateful enough for Him? Kita lalai, kita selalu lupa pada Allah. Sedangkan Nabi SAW bersujud kepada Allah sampai bengkak kaki, menunjukkan rasa syukur pada Allah. Jannah is already promised for him, yet he still wants to worship Allah every single time. So think back and reflect, where are we? Have we done enough for Allah? What is the proof that we are grateful of the things that Allah has blessed us with? Wallahu'alam.

Motif hidup now & forever - Lillahita'ala..




Wednesday, 16 July 2014

One of those I-can't-sleep nights

Assalamualaikum!

How's everyone doing btw? Alhamdulillah, we are still able to live in the same world & breathe the same air. We are entering the last trimester of Ramadan already, and I can't believe time flies so fast that it decided to leave us behind. Allahu. Semoga keberkatan Allah sentiasa berada dalam hidup kita, regardless of the things we do. In Sha Allah..

I'm sorry for the lack of updates recently, not to say that I'm busy, it's just that I'm occupied with some stuffs. But I'll try to keep this blog updated as much as I possibly can. In Sha Allah. Wallahi, I miss writing so badly. I wanna write, but time is so limited nowadays. It flies so fast that I couldn't even process the things that have been going on in my life so far. Eceh.

Talking about time, it's amazing that I've been staying home for 3 months & a half now after my foundation studies ended in April. I had to take a minute and think "wow! It's been 3 months already???" How I wish I have the power to turn back time or to slow it down. I mean everyone secretly wishes to have that power, no? I wish I can say "time, slow down. What's the rush?" but I know it's something out of my power. Time is owned by Allah. He owns it. Our 24 hours a day is His. In fact, everything in this world is His.

Anyways, I always find myself thinking about the time during my foundation & how I miss debating so badly. Idk what & why, but there's something about it that I miss. I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to debate later in shah alam, that's what makes me miss debating more I guess. I miss the opportunity & the encouragement that I got back then. Since high school, I've always loved debating, public speaking and whatnot. Maybe it's just the nature that we all have something that we are so passionate about, no? I hope I'll have the chance to do it again soon. In Sha Allah.

Till then, goodnight! xx

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

#PrayForGaza

Assalamualaikum everyone!

I hope everyone is in the pink. We are now entering the second trimester for Ramadan, which is the twelfth Ramadan. How's everyone enjoying Ramadan so far? Alhamdulillah, we are still able to breathe and to live happily with our loved ones. Despite of the crazy hot weather these days, we are still able to smile and be happy, right?

My amazing readers,
While we are enjoying our lives that is full of luxury, and eat whatever we want and throw away the leftovers the next day, are we well aware of the condition of thousands and millions of Muslims in Gaza? They are suffering, they are starving, they are scared, they are living in fear and uncertainty whether or not they will survive the next day. We are busy catching up with Dunya, we are so obsessed with the worldly temptations that we always forget to even make du'a for them in Palestine. Let alone to fight with them against the Zionists, we can't even spend 5 minutes to raise our hands and make du'a for them. 

Dear relatives in Palestine, 
I apologize for my unconsciousness. I know I think a lot about my problems that I forget your problems and your suffering are wayyyy greater than mine. I apologize that I sometimes forget to remember you in my prayers. I pray for all those beautiful innocent souls in Palestine and those who are still struggling to defeat the Zionists will achieve the highest rank of Allah's jannah in the hereafter. Because you deserve it. You deserve to get as many as Allah blessings and reward upon you. 

Ya Allah, please save our brothers and sisters in Palestine. Protect them from continually being killed by the terrorists. Save their land from being attacked by the Zionists laknatullah. Grant them Your highest rank in jannah. Aminnnn



#SaveGaza #PrayForGaza

Friday, 4 July 2014

There's no turning back, I guess...?

"If this happiness decides to leave me all alone one day, I hope I'm strong enough to face this" - best friend

Muslimahs - The Women of Substance

Assalamualaikum!

Remember when I posted an entry abt the 30days Ramadan challenge? I hope that there are women out there who take up this challenge to cover up and wear hijab AT LEAST for this 30 days.  Who knows it could be a life changing for them. I'm well aware that most people don't like changes, and so do I. But if we're willing to sacrifice for Allah, He will provide us an easy way to go through this. And for sure we'll be rewarded for our efforts. I suddenly just thought abt the challenge but I'm sorry that you can't see the pic that I posted bcs of the Google+ thingy. If you wanna know more, just Google it. The pic will be there.

Anyways, last week I watched a program called 'Being Me 2013' on tv. It is an Islamic conference, held every year, for women. They will invite a foreign speaker like Yasmin Mogahed to give the talk. But the one that I watched was by Zaara something I couldn't remember her full name. And I apologize for that though. To me, it is a very good program to organize bcs it helps to empower women and make us understand Islam better. For us, we might think that we know a lot abt Islam, but after watching it, it made me ponder on where I'm at in this world. We are all travelers. We are all commuters. We commute and travel everyday. But where are we actually heading? What are our aims? That's the real question that we need to ask ourselves. 

Sometimes, we don't realise how short our lives are in this world. The world itself is temporary, let alone our lives. So we always have to reflect back what is our contribution to the world? To our religion? To ourself? Living in this life that's full of desires and temptations, I know it's hard to really live the life during the times of Prophet PBUH and the sahabahs. One of my favorite sentence from the speaker was, "we the women should be very proud that we were born as women." Bcs, women are very highly respected during those times. Skrg ni muslimah sendiri yg letakkan diri di tempat yg hina. So are we really proud to be muslimahs? Do we really cherish the chances and opportunity that we have in our lives? It's not easy being a woman, there's so many things that we have to deal with. But I guess that's the special thing abt being one, you know. Allah does not give us the things we can't handle, bcs He is well aware of our capabilities.

Look at muslimah these days, they are turning into jahiliah women and being a display for the ajnabis. There are many ways to correct ourselves, bcs somehow or rather we'll be making mistakes along the way. As long as we are still humans, we will make mistakes. You know, da'wah is not something that you can do just for people. You can do da'wah for yourself, too. Da'wah can also be a reminder towards ourselves, a guidance or whatever you want to name it. And one more thing, it's not something that can be delivered by ulama', ustaz and Ustazah only. Everyone can give da'wah. Every single person. Even a prostitute can also give da'wah. We have to look at what is being delivered, not who is delivering it. Even that person is bad, but if he gives us an advice, we have to listen. Must. Islam is perfect, but Muslims aren't, remember?

I was in a dark place too, before. Before I made the decision to change, I was not a good person. To think back, I'm embarrassed to even remember who I was before, let alone to tell people in public. I was never a good person to begin with. But Allah is all Fair, He changed this little heart of mine 360°. I made a lot of things that I knew were wrong. But due to my ignorance, I continued to commit those things. As I said so many times, it wasn't an easy ride at first, to adapt and accept the changes that I made for myself. Mind you, nobody forced me to change. I did it willingly. I told you that Allah opened up my heart and changed it 360°. I learnt how to perfect myself, inside and out. And after three years, I still need to learn. There's a lot more for me to improve. Even after 10 years, I still need to improve. In sha Allah...

Most of us can give advices, can help to inspire people. But what most of us can't really do is to practice what we preach. Betul tak? Sometimes, it's so hard to even listen and follow our own advices. People always say, practice what you preach. But when things get so out of hands, we forget of the things that we advised. Everything doesn't make sense already. Last but not least, betulkan nawaitu and please be aware of what we do and say. Because if we aren't, we might make mistakes and hurt other people. I'm sure none of us would want to do that, right? 

Till then, xx

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Ramadan checklist

Assalamualaikum everyone!

How's your Ramadan been going on so far? I hope you have a great with your family. Mine has been, Alhamdulillah so far so great. I still can not believe that we are actually in Ramadan. And it's the third day already! Allahu.

Anyways, my dear and amazing readers, I said in the previous post that I wanted to share a checklist that I made for myself for this holy month. I did this checklist just to make sure that I'm making some progress and improvements during this Ramadan. I don't wanna be like the previous ones, I couldn't be bothered doing any checklist or whatever. But this time, I wanna take things seriously by doing a list of what I should do during this 30 days. Some of you might say "ni je?" but I personally don't want to rush into doing the things that I know I tak mampu. This checklist is for us to evaluate ourselves, so I share mine so that maybe it will help you guys with yours too. Klau nak tmbh apa apa, you guys can definitely do so.

So this is it, I really hope it will help. Klau tak bnyk, sikit pun jadi lah kan? May everything goes well in this month and may we always be under His blessings. I pray for everyone to have a wonderful Ramadan ever.



PS : Klau kita uzur & tak boleh puasa pun we still can do things like helping our parents, recite zikrullah etc

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Social network vs Ramadan

Assalamualaikum!

Well, I believe that everyone is aware that Ramadan is the holy month of the year, and it's for us to get ourselves closer to the Creator. The month that's full of blessings, forgiveness and love from the Almighty. Since it is only once a year, which is only 30 out of 365 days, we should be able to make the best out of it. We should give thanks to Him for bringing us towards Ramadan every year, as long as we shall live.

But that's not my main point here. As we all know,  bila masuk bulan Ramadan ni, all our activities that we used to do during the other months should be put on hold. Eg ; watching movies, listening to lagha musics, sleep etc. As well as bashing, backbiting, judging and more. I just think that those things should be stopped instead of putting them on hold though. Because they all started from the social sites, so I get a bit scared to open my twitter, ask.fm and instagram knowing that those things are still there despite of this holy month. So in this 30 days, I am trying to lessen down the scrolling and updating on twitter, because 1. there are still many negative things that I try to avoid myself from getting into and 2. twitter can be so addictive that sometimes you can be on it for hours. 

I've deleted my ask.fm for the second time and I guess the final time. Haha. I don't think I would get myself an account anymore. Because I think it's just a pure distraction instead of being beneficial. One more thing, I would prefer to be on tumblr instead of twitter. I don't know why but I've always loved tumblr. Tumblr has waaaay lesser dramas and negativity. You can actually find peace on tumblr looking at the beautiful photos. But I'm not gonna deny that there are obscene pics on tumblr that you couldn't run from it. Bila come across those pics, I would just scroll the dashboard laju laju je hahaha. Not gonna lie but I can stay on tumblr for an hour without closing the app. 

It's not wrong for us to continue socializing in Ramadan, but it depends on how we are socializing. If the way is right, then I don't see any reason why we should stop. But when we do it wrong, we'll have to think of a way to tone it down a bit. At least for 30 days right? There's no harm in trying, instead we'll get a reward for our efforts. In sha Allah...

Till then, xx

PS : Planning to do a checklist and share it on blog later 

Of losing my photos on google+

Assalamualaikum & good morning everyone!

It's 2nd Ramadan today & I hope everyone is enjoying this holy month ever. Well I'm here in my room, mum and sisters had just gone out for school and work. I hope I don't fall asleep in 5 mins. Lol

So the other day, I went through the photo gallery on my phone, the album title was "auto-backup", it's been a while that I've been trying to delete some of the photos in that album because it contains free-haired pics of me and my girlfriends. But, I couldn't delete them. There's no delete button when I clicked at the photos. Not until that particular day, I went through the app photos on my phone, and suddenly I knew that the pics CAN be deleted. So without having any thoughts and contemplation, I deleted everything in that album. I was like so contented that I finally managed to get rid of those photos. I knew at first that those photos are on my google+, but I thought I would still have it here, on blog. I thought it won't disrupt anything that I've posted here.

But little did I know, when I logged into blogger yesterday, I saw my profile photo wasn't there anymore. When I looked through my entries that have pics in them, they were also gone. And suddenly it hit me, "omg I deleted everything on google+ and now everything is gone!!!!" I was shocked knowing that the photos I've posted were also gone. Why google+ why.... So here I wanna apologize if you ever see my blog entries that have photos but you can't see them. It's because I didn't know it will turn this way. I ranted about it on twitter, and someone said to me if I set it to auto-backup I can get those photos back. But unfortunately I've turned it off because I don't want my photos to be backed up. Nanti semak. Takpe lah, at least I learnt from my mistake, didn't I?

Next time kena fikir dulu if I wanna delete anything, on google+ especially. Never knew that google+ can make me so miserable. Haha.

Till then, happy fasting! xx

A Life changing, it is

الله، أنا تعبت من فقدان 
أدعو لك بإرسال ملاكا أسفل 

ليأتي ويغير مجرى حياتي حول


Allah, I am tired of losing,
I pray you send an angel down,
To come and change my life around.


I'm hoping.
I'm waiting.
I'm praying.

I never lose hope in Allah. Never in a million years would I do that. "Allah itu sentiasa ada." Yes I believe in that sentence. He would never leave us alone in misery, because I know, if I ask, He would help. 

"Jangan buruk sangka pada Allah." He is the owner of hearts. He knows what's the best for our hearts. He should be the One occupying our hearts, not anyone else. Put Him first before anything else, and He will put you first. He will never break His promises. Not ever.